“You’re always late.” “Why can’t you ever be neat?” “You bounced another check; what’s wrong with you?”It seems that whether we are dealing with children, parents, siblings, co-workers or employees, there is so much that needs improvement that we can’t help but comment. In fact, these lines slip out of our mouths so easily that often we don’t even know we are saying them! Of course, we only say them in the hope of influencing behavior and affecting change – yet they never seem to work. For some strange reason, not only don’t these comments cause people to improve, they seem to backfire.
In this Shmuz, we see that not only is criticism counterproductive, it actually eats away at the root of all successful relationships, the sense of trust and approval that we humans so crave.