Many people come into a dating situation with a list of preconceived notions:
- This is what I need…
- This is what I’m looking for…
- This is what I’m willing to accept…
- But on this point I’m unwilling to bend…
This approach has little to do with a Torah system of finding your bashert.
What you should be looking for:
40 days before you were born, HASHEM determined the perfect match for you.
- What does she look like?
- What is her personality?
- What type of background does he come from?
- What type of personality does she have?
- Is he quiet or loud, introverted or extroverted, gregarious or somber?
The answer, of course is, you don’t know.
But more than that, it’s not what you are looking for. You are looking for the one that HASHEM defined as the right one for you. Your job is to go out and find her.
The way you do it is by using the system, as HASHEM wants us to use it.