The torah system

What is the Torah system for finding a spouse?
The answer begins with the understanding that Hashem wants us to lead happy, productive lives. Hashem wants men and women to create loving, solid homes. And so, Hashem selects the ideal person for each individual and guides us to that person.
Our role in the equation is to do our hishtadlus (effort). We use the system that Hashem has set in place and do our part in finding that person. The question is: what is the correct hishtadlus for finding that person? How does Hashem want us to go about finding the one that He has chosen?
The question is: what is the correct approach when dating?
The first step is to recognize that Hashem has carefully chosen the ideal match for you, and He wants you to find him or her. But, that person might not resemble the image that you have fashioned in your mind. He may not have the qualities that you think are essential, and she may come with other traits that you don’t think are particularly helpful.
And this is the critical point—the point that most people miss, the point that causes so much misery. It’s not your job to know. You can’t know. That’s Hashem’s job.
Hashem is the wise and generous Creator. Hashem knows the future as He knows the past. Hashem knows better than you do what’s best for you. And Hashem has selected the ideal match for you. Your job is to go out and find him.
To make it easier, Hashem has given us an intuition to know who that person is. That intuition is similar to the intuition that guides us in other areas of life.

The Chovos HaLevavos (Sha’ar Bitachon 3) explains that Hashem implanted into each species of animal the tools and the aptitude to hunt for a particular food and the appetite for it. The cow desires grass. The cat craves the mouse. The robin hungers for the worm. These are natural instincts that direct the animal toward what it needs for its sustenance.
So, too, with man. In order to help us earn a living, Hashem implanted in each person an inclination toward a particular type of work. Some people like to work with their hands. Some individuals are real numbers people. Some are natural businessmen. When my son was six years old, he was already buying and selling stuff. I said to my wife, “It’s pretty clear what he should be doing to earn a living.”
Hashem gave each person certain skills and the preference for a specific profession in order to support themselves. When choosing a career, the correct hishtadlus is to follow that predisposition. That’s what Hashem wants that person to do in order to earn a living.
So, too, when choosing a spouse. Hashem gave us the instinct to recognize our bashert. The system that we use to identify that person has two parts to it.