The Bashert test consists of meeting this person and determining if he /she is the right one for you.
But this is the mistake that so many people make:
The reason you meet isn’t because you are looking for “the best girl in Brooklyn” or for “the person with the best middos.” Nor are you searching for “the person you want to spend your life with.”
You are looking for the person who was chosen for you.
Not the one who comes closest to your image of what you want.
Not someone who’s tall or short, fat or skinny, smart or dumb, introverted or extroverted.
You are looking for your bashert—and you don’t know what she looks like, what her personality is like, what type of family she comes from, or even what type of person she is. There is only one way to know if she is the one—you take the Bashert Test.
THE BASHERT TEST
The Bashert Test consists of meeting this person and seeing how you feel.
Do you feel comfortable?
Do you enjoy her company?
Does it just sort of feel right?
Not deep, mad, passionate love. Not fireworks being shot off rooftops. Not even “Wow!” Just, does it feel natural?
Your hishtadlus is to see if you feel an intuitive sense that this is the right one.
Ideally you are acting yourself she is acting herself and you get a chance to see if this is meant to be
THE QUESTIONS TO ASK YOURSELF ARE:
Did I enjoy the dates?
Do I look forward to seeing her again?
Does it sort of seem to click?
There need not be any high level emotionality.
No heart palpations and no shortness of breath. (Those are sure signs of infatuation, which if anything may cloud your vision.)
• Just an inner sense of peace.
• A feeling that it’s natural.
• We enjoy being with each other.
• It somehow feels like I’ve known her all of my life.
You’re looking for a feeling that this is the right one. When you have that, you move forward with the confidence that Hashem runs the world and that He has guided you to your bashert. And that is the point—Hashem has made the choice; you are out there to find the one that Hashem has chosen for you.