I’m not attracted

Attraction is very important for a successful marriage

And if in fact, you really aren’t attracted to this person, it might be a sign that they aren’t for you.
However, there are certain things that need to be kept in mind about attraction.

Rule of attraction

  1. Often it takes time for the attraction to grow.
  2. Attraction doesn’t mean drop dead gorgeous. And attraction doesn’t mean that he/ she must be the most attractive human being on the planet.
  3. Attractive means—attractive to me. Not is she pretty enough to impress my friends, or neighbors, or mother, or brother. Do I find her / him attractive?

Many times a young man or young woman would be attracted but they don’t allow that attraction to occur. They subconsciously block that attraction, because of their need for “trophy wife”, or a “stunning husband”.

To determine attraction, you ask yourself a very simple question:

  • Do I find her / him attractive?


  • Is she skinny enough?
  • Or pretty enough?


  • Is he tall enough?
  • Or does he dress well enough?

Do I find myself attracted?

And often to answer the question you need to ignore the static that interferes. The noise in your head of “What will others think.” Or “How will I feel when I walk down the block with him / her.”

At the end of the day you aren’t marrying this person to impress other people.

 You are marrying the one that HASHEM set as the right one for you.