Attraction is very important for a successful marriage
And if in fact, you really aren’t attracted to this person, it might be a sign that they aren’t for you.
However, there are certain things that need to be kept in mind about attraction.
Rule of attraction
- Often it takes time for the attraction to grow.
- Attraction doesn’t mean drop dead gorgeous. And attraction doesn’t mean that he/ she must be the most attractive human being on the planet.
- Attractive means—attractive to me. Not is she pretty enough to impress my friends, or neighbors, or mother, or brother. Do I find her / him attractive?
Many times a young man or young woman would be attracted but they don’t allow that attraction to occur. They subconsciously block that attraction, because of their need for “trophy wife”, or a “stunning husband”.
To determine attraction, you ask yourself a very simple question:
- Do I find her / him attractive?
- Is she skinny enough?
- Or pretty enough?
- Is he tall enough?
- Or does he dress well enough?
Do I find myself attracted?
And often to answer the question you need to ignore the static that interferes. The noise in your head of “What will others think.” Or “How will I feel when I walk down the block with him / her.”
At the end of the day you aren’t marrying this person to impress other people.
You are marrying the one that HASHEM set as the right one for you.