50. Ill Be Happy When

Most people have an I’ll be happy when. They have this sort of thing I’ll be happy when I graduate, when I learn to drive, when I make a million dollars, when I get married. Everyone seems to have their x. And when I acquire x, then I’ll be happy. And what you quickly find is that many, many people aren’t happy. Sometimes it’s because they lack meaning, they lack purpose in life. But even people who are actually growing and accomplishing have things that stop them from being happy.

And the Chovos Halevavos explains one of the basics of a baal bitachon (person who trusts) is for me to know that my current situation is where Hashem wants me to be. Assuming I’m doing what I’m supposed to be doing, assuming I’m acting in an appropriate way, Hashem wants this situation, Hashem custom designed it, and I could and should be happy right now. It’s not outside things that I need, it’s not outside things that are stopping me, what’s stopping me often is the understanding that I need something, and only when I acquire that something can I be happy. The understanding that Hashem knows better than I what I need, the understanding that Hashem has custom designed my situation. Even though I don’t see it for the best, even though I don’t understand it, Hashem knows far better than me. Hashem custom made this situation to allow me to grow, to accomplish. And with that comes a sense of happiness, of joy in my situation. I’m not happy when I acquire x, I’m happy right now, because Hashem wants me to be here.