27. Anxiety the Test of Bitachon

Every once in a while you want to know how am I doing in bitachon (trust). How’s my level? So if you’d like a little litmus test, I have a very simple one. The next time you have the feeling of anxiety, dread, fear, trepidation, that is a way of testing your level of bitachon. You see, if I know that Hashem is right here, if I know that Hashem has a plan, if I know that Hashem is walking me right through life every minute of my day, anxiety, dread, fear — they don’t exist. The minute I have a sense of nervousness, the minute I have a sense of fear, I have to say to myself I get it, my bitachon is lacking.

Now, let’s not make a mistake. We will have many, many fears throughout life, many, many issues that will deeply concern us, because we’re not on the level of Avraham, Yitzchak, and Yaakov. The ultimate level of a pure baal bitachon (one who trusts) is where there is no fear, no trepidation, nothing in that realm, because I see Hashem right there. We’re not there, we’re not going to get there for many, many years, we may never get there. But the key point to understand is the minute I feel fear, the minute I feel frustration in the sense of anxiety and nervousness, I’m supposed to stop and say I get it: I have to work on my bitachon. That’s the litmus test, and that’s the wake up call for me to realize that my bitachon is lacking and that it’s time for me to work on the understanding that Hashem is right here involved in the running of my life.